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Devoted wife sticks to her paralyzed husband
Updated : 2014-09-15
By ( chinadaily.com.cn )
Song Lili looking after her husband at home. [Photo/my399.com]
Song Lili was a beautiful, hard-working girl, with many dreams of the future. She had a colorful, happy family life for three years, but then had to face the responsibility of taking care of a paralyzed, completely dependent husband for the rest of her life. And, their son suffers from a hearing ailment.
Nonetheless, Song is determined to stick it out and take care of her husband and son still believes there is always a rainbow after the storm.
Her story began on the eve of one Spring Festival, when Song met Zhao Hongchang and fell into conversation with him on a train ride back home to Mudanjiang city in Heilongjiang province from Beijing. And, the humorous, handsome Zhao left a deep impression on the 21-year-old girl. To her surprise, just after getting back home, there was a greeting from Zhao, who had asked around to get Song’s phone number.
And, they were seen by the people around them as the perfect match, so they got married just a few months later. It was love at first sight. The young couple lived a happy life in Zhao’s hometown in Donghe street, Acheng district, Harbin, Heilongjiang province, running a small business and then welcomed their son the next year. They were full of joy and happiness.
Unexpected misfortune
Unfortunately, that happy family life didn’t last long after her husband began suffering from ankylosing spondylitis (AS) and osteonecrosis of the femora, which resulted in paralysis by the end of 2004.
But, even though the doctors confirmed the diagnosis, Song struggled to come to terms with how such a strong husband could be stuck by paralysis. The reality was too cruel to digest.
And, the illness caused acute pain, with her husband crying out and his weight dropping from 80kg to less than 40kg.
Endless love
Meanwhile, Song was getting frequent suggestions from the villagers: “You’re young, you deserve a better life. Don’t waste your life on him,” or, from her mother-in-law, “You’re still young, I won’t stop you if you want to leave.” Even Zhao shouted at her repeatedly, “I’m disabled and I don’t need your sympathy”
But, she stayed.
On a wall that her husband could easily see, she wrote her decision: “We’ll never part. Together we can fight the disease!” And, holding her husband’s hand, she said, “Don’t let me go. I want to stay with you forever! I will always be here to take care of you!”
Caring day and night
For the first three years of his illness, Zhao said he preferred to die rather than live in a world where just a touch of his body could cause excruciating pain.
And, what about Song? She explains, “I could only nap on my knees by the bed while he was sleeping. Even a whisper from him would wake me up.” So, fully dressed, she just snoozed rather than sleep in bed for more than three years.
When she turned her husband over every hour, it made Song break out in a sweat, not just because he was heavy, but because she was so nervous about hurting him with a careless touch. Since Zhao was unable to raise his arms, he had to be spoon-fed by his wife, but, Song says, mildly, taking care of his urination and defecation were just a “small thing”.
When the doctor told her that frequent exposure to sunshine would help, she “carried” her husband to the wheelchair every day and wheeled him out into the light. Zhao could be easily carried by his 1.60-meter-tall wife.
That rainbow after the storm
Then, in 2009, there came another shock when their son Zhao Yu was diagnosed with nerve damage to his hearing. So, there she was, taking care of her husband while seeking treatment for their son, but she still had a belief: Everything will be fine.
At the same time, Song felt sorry for her parents-in-law who were more than 60 and had to work part-time to support the family while her mother-in-law insisted, “There wouldn’t be a family if it weren’t for you, and I can’t imagine what would have happened to my son and my grandson!”
But, then, the young woman’s toughness and persistence seemed to pay off when both her husband and her son started showing signs of recovery. Now, with the assistance of his wife, Zhao is able to turn over, sit up, even stand for a few minutes, and eat by himself. And Song keeps a meticulous record of his recovery, in the same way a mother might record the growth of her child. To make sure that she can help Zhao at any time, she and their son sleep on the floor at night.
Still, time took its toll and Song, who was a pretty, vibrant girl who liked dressing up, looks years older than her age and has barely thought of buying clothes for herself.
And, she says, “Even if my husband is bed-ridden for the rest of his life, my life will be hopeful because of him,” in the resolute voice of a woman who deserves everyone’s respect.
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